“I have been feeling very clearheaded lately and what I want to write about today is the sea. It contains so many colors. Silver at dawn, green at noon, dark blue in the evening. Sometimes it looks almost red. Or it will turn the color of old coins. Right now the shadows of clouds are dragging across it, and patches of sunlight are touching down everywhere. White strings of gulls drag over it like beads.
It is my favorite thing, I think, that I have ever seen. Sometimes I catch myself staring at it and forget my duties. It seems big enough to contain everything anyone could ever feel.”
― Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See
I came to heal. The tears are done. The sweating of bullets, done. Now it is to the sea where find my solace and the sea I find a new found joy.
It was not always so. I was afraid of her, the depths of life beneath, the danger of bluebottles on the shore. Of being caught in the riptide and sinking without air. Safety on the beach. Not anymore. The dipping of toes has become the diving beneath. In every way.
To describe the power of nature and humankind at the sea is to describe the re-awakening of self. Finding joy in colours of blue so vivid, horizon so distant and watching the playfulness of children in the shallows, the simplicity of concentration at the immediate task has taken me far from the world, for a while at least. Water, sand and discovery are all. Rock pools hold delight of creatures caught until the rising of the tide. There are no unhappy people on a beach, and if there are, they wait until sunset to perch and dream of a better place, they perch and watch the sea come to whisper and pause, roll back and forward to whisper again. ‘I will always be there, alway be there, always be there…’
“Look at that sea, girls–all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn’t enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
It matters not if the sun bakes, the browning of skin is the medicine. Time matters not. It is only in the motion of the sea, little white horses, holiday memories, sun filled sandwiches. Lessons from children. Where I am the water is cold, shock on entering but like loving for the first time, the reassurance that soon the envelopment and total submission will come and you will float in a new dimension – buoyant, free and fearless.
The sting of saltiness in my eyes are not tears.
“I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”
― Anaïs Nin
I came to heal. The sea has healed me and I return again and again to remind myself of that vast expanse of loveliness that will endure long after I am gone. I am witness to that loveliness and for that I thank her. From now on the only sweating I want is the sun on my skin on the beach. The cure for everything is salt water.
Thank you Madison for the beautiful quote and inspiration for this post.
“The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too”
― Vincent Van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh