Times you just need to exhale.
Seriously, just do it.
There have been times when my heart was pounding so hectically in my chest I thought I should just go, it’s time … this is how it is going to happen … my will is sorted … and it didn’t.
Anxiety attack leads to … waiting … waiting … and then the exhale.
I know I should be doing yoga, embracing the moon and counting the stars, but right now, the mere act of doing is what is important. Post f …ed up life is now becoming, sorting out time. And I am busy, busy little bee I am. Sorting, shifting, setting up goals, till … there goes the pounding of the heart and I know … I need to just exhale.
Amazing little mechanism that is. Exhaling. Physically you go aaaaaah, and mentally you go … let it go for awhile. Pause. The world is not going to explode despite the politics, the weather, the unknown job or finance nightmare may still be there, but let it go. For a moment and just … exhale. And I am not an exhaler of note, but learning.
We need to pause and drop the mess for a moment. Put on the favourite song, go through the photos, leave the mobile behind and look outside. The swan is still gliding, the birds still chirping and why am I saying this?
Met a friend in the city today. We go way, childhood way back, talked of the present, our spouses, our children, our lives and then, when the conversation of all that is negative ended, we began to talk of the good stuff. Still being friends. Come a long way since the mud cakes and tree climbing and still here. Gave our young ones the best advice and now … have to let it go. Have to exhale. Be in the moment of each other with different paths and infinite wisdom combined in lives lived darn well. I had forgotten that.
Home to a text from another friend in the first throes of divorce. Exhale.
Home to a text from another who is lonely and purposeless. Exhale.
Home to what is now, is, and looking around at the change and … exhale.
Breathed in the love, the passion and the exhausting taking course of just about everything. Breathed in the loss, the promise, the ambition and lack of it, panic and stress and as the sun is out later, the jury is out and going home, I remembered that to exhale is my right, right now. Tonight, for a moment or hours, for days or a month – I can do that and I choose to go …
Phew! Good day. Good day. Exhale and enjoy it. Tomorrow can wait.