Ever wondered about those fabulous shoes the famous wear? They don’t do public transport.
Eddy: ‘We’ll go on public transport, Pats.’
Patsy: ‘Are you mad? I’ve got nothing to wear on public transport.’
There are fabulous shoes in the cupboard, for one day, and then there are the public transport types. Mostly trainers. Early morning commuters in suits and trainers. Mother’s in trainers, school children … in trainers. Public transport does this to you. Comfortable is the norm … because … the odds of Not getting a seat, is high. Like today, stood all the way from Plimlico to home. If I were wearing the lovely stuff, I would be even more stuffed than I am now. But, public transport is an interesting observation in humanity, and I note:
- The Silver Streeter boards, and all the healthy, gym rippled men find The Most Interesting things on their mobiles. They are never going to make eye contact because they know their parents taught them manners and standing up for someone not a step away from death is not getting their seat.
- We file in and take our place of attack. Eyes ever observant, legs spread wide … waiting for the slightest suggesting of a rising star, and blow me down, no-one is going to take that vacant seat.
- Next stop – another threat tries to move past and find the opportune ‘choice’ grabber of first vacant seat. Not on your life sister, will fight you to the death.
- Bless it. Woman who has a stomach more concave than Tarzan sits snugly. Has a ‘baby on board’ pin stuck to her chest. Visibly pregnant women are always given a seat – why the need I think.
- More men than women are sitting.
- My heart bleeds for the tourists with suitcases the size of the Empire State building. Everyone hates them and snarl at the luggage which they try to hide beneath their legs.
- Alway the one. The loud conversationalist talking into a speaker wrapped around his neck. Loud and we are subjected to every comment.
- When there is no more room, someone will always get on board – personal space is forgotten here.
It is not that bad – it is the way we live. And it is interesting. For one, I take it as a compliment when no-one offers me a seat – they must think I am young enough to stand. As for the shoes, the standard commuter shoes, they are staying till I can afford to take the cabs and wear the trendy ones.
Only we understand the joy, the pure joy of having a seat on the tube. It’s like winning the Lotto.