One of the most inspiring young bloggers I follow wrote a heartfelt entry that simply broke my heart.
Her blogs are usually hugely inspirational, filled with the love of life, flowers and particularly Paris – her photography is my daily high.
But unexpectadly, she decided to write from the heart – and her father’s disappointment in her choice of lifestyle and career. For someone who makes so many happy, wish for some of her experiences, it is still not enough to bring stars to her father’s eyes. Which got me thinking:
- Are we as adults expecting too much from our children? We all raise them with dreams of what we want them to become one day … lay the proverbial path down, sometimes with sacrifice, but more with joy and hope, and when they choose another path, do we show our disappointment too openly?
- I know I am guilty, one hundred percent. Which is why this post resonated so much with me. Though my children are all strong and doing well, I riled at a career choice and let it be known. How on earth would they want to … throwing away your education blah blah blah and it still stings, but I have realised that I come to the edge of the lake as the helicopter mother and must let them sail … with all my support, despite my reservations. The foundations are strong.
- Perhaps we are the one’s out of touch with the real world. Not every child grows to be a CEO, a Scientist or a lawyer – driven with ambition and dollars in their eyes. The world needs dreamers, creative artists, educationalists, carers … so many other vocations that may not bring the big house, but will bring immense satisfaction.
- God knows that we have disappointed our children on all too many occasions, even if they stay silent about it, so why do we still feel the right to comment on how they may have disappointed us? Have we been true to their visions of the kind of parents they want us to be?
- When it comes to a lifestyle, or career choice, are we so happy with the one we chose? Too often we complain and berate our choices and those words stick.
- I remember when my eldest was in Junior School, being told that nearly 60% of career choices available to her when she finished school had not even been thought of yet. At the time I thought, mmm, and look at the world now. Do we, the elders, stick to what we know and fail to embrace these ‘new’ options because we cannot understand them. It’s quite exciting actually, so why do we cling to the past like we do when it comes to our children’s choice of career?
All I know is that I wish her father saw her potential and allowed herself to be. All I know is that it is a lesson to me too, that although I have born and raised my children, hopefully to the best of it all, they should and need to be supported in their own choices from now on. We have had our turns, now just relax knowing they will be fine.
Disappointment is the devils child – ours are there for the future – let them live it their way.
Images Rebecca Plotnick – Everyday Parisian