Times we feel that is all we do. Exist. But it’s not true. No matter how ‘invisible’ you feel – you aren’t. You are unique and you are present.
Why is it that so many women in this Silver Street part of our lives, feel that dejected feeling of being ‘invisible? Just the other day, chatting to a beautiful and vivacious women of a certain age, she said:
‘I just feel, well, invisible right now.’ She is not alone.
It is a tricky time, this time, and many find ourselves at odds with the world. Children have flown, parents have passed, relationships have changed. A lack of purpose for nurturing and the role we played, pretty well I think, is vacant. No more mummy, daughter, spouse or whatever required. So what next?
It is a common dilemma amongst us fifty something Silver Streeters. For those who continue to have positive careers, the void is somewhat lessened, but what if you were a stay at home mom for example? Or had a part time job whilst building up the other one’s career? What if you were the eternal care-giver and that is no longer needed? What happens now? Are you too old to begin a business, a new career path, who will hire you, how to you prove your skills – make use of all this experience you have and want to share – where to you begin again to being for the first time? What to do when you feel so low, so invisible at this stage of your life?
- Give yourself time to just sit and sit, and sit and think. Times have changed and things have happened. It is ok to grieve or miss the life you had. To feel vulnerable, even frightened. Baby steps time.
- Take a deep breath and tell yourself you are ok. You do matter. You have a lifetime of experience which you can turn into something in an entirely different direction, even if you can’t see that right now.
- You are valued. Even if they don’t show it, those you nurtured do appreciate you and everything you mean to them. Recognise that.
- Have you let yourself go in more ways than one? Take stock of your appearance, your attitude, your surroundings. You will feel better if you look better, make your environment prettier, sort the world out of the unnecessary, the hanging on stuff and clear the decks so to speak.
- Begin with your health. You are the only one responsible for your well being. Exercise and the right diet will transform your inner being, your outer being and charge your mind.
- Wine is ok. It is our go to friend if need be, in moderation. Rather than anti-depressants and loads of sleeping pills. Eating too much is not ok. It is going to bring you down.
- Stop being an addict to anything.
- Start a gratitude diary. List the things you are grateful for and act on the small stuff. Be grateful for something you do everyday.
- And then, body right, mind right, situation right …
- Plan. You can. Recognise that feeling ‘invisible’ to others does not mean being ‘invisible’ to yourself. You have history, gifts, experience and you are now ready to fly …
Step one. Learning to enjoy what you do and saying no to things you think you should do, but does not make you happy.
You have the strength to start a new business, a new venture and live the life you want to. It may not be the CEO or becoming a neurosurgeon but you have passions right, act on them and don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t possible. It is. Look for inspiration from other women who have done it, against the odds, and surround yourself with friends and inspiring women who will support you.
Most important. Realise you have decades still to live and only you can make it happen for the better. Only you have the power to believe you can and act upon it. Why sit and wait for the world to pity you? Change it. Be it charity work, painting, a small home business, going back to work. Be it studying for something you love, open your garden to the public or write your life story … just do it!
The invisibility cloak is yours to use when you wish. Don’t make it your favourite fashion item.
And, you are not invisible. I see you … and I love what I see.