Do you know that the heart is the strongest organ in your body? It breaks so many times and yet it still goes on, ready for the next opportunity to love someone. Over and over again. It is not the heartbreaks we should tally, but the ability, the amazing ability we have to love. In so many ways, for so many people, and for that, and your heart, you should never apologise for loving. You just should.
I remember the heartbreaks. Times when you felt foolish and rejected and stupid for giving your heart to another. When the euphoria of being loved turns into a ghost. Rather than smitten are shattered. As one gets older the loving becomes deeper, and the heartbreak fathomless.
But, and I say but … don’t. Do not allow yourself to be diminished by the rejection of another. You loved someone, be it familial, sexual, friendship, there are so many different kinds of love and if you gave your heart to someone, you did good. You loved.
Tonight this is on my mind. Having returned from a dinner with close friends, childhood still matters friends, we spoke of past and present loves: the love for our parents, first crushes, children, some that lasted and others that scarred. Those lesions are part of the journey. Be they right, or wrong, given in the light or given in hope, each one is the making of you. Which is why one should never take those moments you gave your heart, when you loved someone and apologise for doing it, even if it never stayed the distance. They are the making of you and you did good. You loved.
The world is cloaked in easy blaming, in broken dreams and fractured hearts. Call me naive but I cannot buy into the whole, you did this and I did this thing if it was done with love. Got the plot all messed up … shared in the hurting and goodbyes? You are human, with all those delectable nuances of stuffing up royally when you should not have. Where were all those Calvinistic codes you thought you had down pat when love came through the wall of your chapter? What does Sunday School help when someone tells you they love you and it may not be part of your plan? You just love I guess. You just love.
So the conversation went: don’t see them anymore … they hurt me … they broke my heart … I never want to see them again and so on. And I thought … hang on … hating someone you loved says something about you … okay they hurt you, you hurt them, but you loved them right … so you did good … you should remember that you did. Or maybe still do … and you must never apologise for that. It was agreed.
As we age, in our Silver Streets, it’s time to count the chapters and those you loved. And admit that you were fortunate to have felt love in the first place.
So, to my first boyfriend who tossed me, to the Varsity loves, the crazy years, the marriage years, the children years, the friendship years … each one as you look back, were actually pretty interesting … and the reason for this is … you loved each and everyone. Never, never apologise for that. Some people never get to have that … and you have had that in abundance.
And do we need love … for sure so honey, you just keep on doing it. Your heart can take it.