And she was dreaming, and in that dreaming, the diary got lost today …
It is a disaster! A malady of note. And such a day of all days.
Truth is, today was one of those, will get the life sorted today, days. Empowered with all sorts of ideas and plans in the making. Such a big sigh escapes me now, for in the planning in a cafe, I returned home to find my diary is missing. It is a tragedy.
My ‘other’ child is out there somewhere. Too late to call. Not sure about you, but a visual diary, is my life. Seriously, my life in a book with weeks and years and collecting. I am lost without her. Since I can remember I have kept a diary. None of the google calendar stuff for me, but a tangible little life book that has my appointments, my daily notes, my life. Everyone knew that and it was to the diaries for immigration information, birthday reminders, work shifts … basically everything that is my life, is in those books. As far back as twenty odd years ago, and this year is somewhere tonight and I pray I can find it, for like my arm, missing it will be missing a limb.
The crazy thing is that I had all out in front of me – for the empowering day. I was going to invest in transport today, she thought, my choice of transport … so my mind began to wander to those lovely Pashley bicycles, the ones in Duck egg blue with a little basket in the front. Or maybe a Vespa, to imagine me putting through Tuscany, or the South of France, or just London (the quieter streets where the buses could not take me out sort of thing.) And a car, I dreamed of a little but cute car – maybe a Fiat 500 that would make me think of Italian towns and pretty colours. Told you I was being practical in my thinking, but others may disagree. Truth be told, I don’t do practical very well – aesthetically speaking, I want pretty in my life right now. But to dreaming I succumbed.
And in that, oh my word, in my age of putting everything in the right place in my handbag (cause we do tend to misplace at times) I frigging must have left the diary behind at the cafe!
She is not a happy bunny tonight and will search for the missing child with the hope of finding her soon. It happened once before, I left my diary in my hotel in Paris, only to have Christene post her back to me, with great relief. My diaries are stacked in a drawer for reference and a map of my life, so I do hope this one, 2018. will return to join her sisters.
Do you have a diary like me? A tangible life voice with all the messy, lovely, interesting stuff that is sort of your entire life in a book? Then you know how I feel tonight – lost a little. Being positive though, come back little diary I pray. I need you more than ever … you are the practical in my dreamy world.
Images Pashley, eagle diaries