I am the music and the music is me.
The new computer. Darling daughter tells me, cull Mommy, cull for the transfer of data. Begin again, delete, delete, delete all the stuff of nonsense and make the transfer a smooth one. And I have, only to stop at the music …
My playlist is in the millions. Like me, nothing dates. Each and every song is part of my life and my goodness, I cannot delete any of them! How can one, when every song is a trigger to a memory? Attempts at ruthlessness is futile. As I listen with intent to minimise, the swooping of memory intercedes with that force of all, of the force that is my life. ‘Tis true, my life is a song.
Childhood, long legs and awkward dreams of future me with Barry Manilow. Scoff perhaps, but ‘Mandy’ and ‘I write the songs’ transported from a dusty Free State town. He has to stay.
Deep Purple. Underground. The Rolling Stones. Moody Blues – first dances with strange boys – they have to stay. And the Bee Gees. And Barbra has to stay … she transcended all chapters and has to stay. My first ‘own earned’ pocket money to be spent at the OK Bazaars on LP’s has to stay on the playlist.
Bob Seger, America and Fleetwood Mac for the Varsity days. ‘I will Survive’ (how ironic) when I knew nothing days.
The falling in love music. Wedding music. Sussing children to sleep music.
Joni Mitchell. Carol King. Billy Joel and Barry White. Surely must stay? Francois Hardy with her French I did not understand? Michael Jackson, Michael George, how can I let them go? Even Elton …’Song for Guy’ and his story … no, he must stay. This is so hard!
Nostalgic music for my homeland. Party music, loving music … empowering songs that lift the feet and fill the heart with oomph. Got to stay.
Just Ginger. Cape Town vibes. Afrikaans. Charles and ‘She’ for my mum. Those melancholy nights music, lullaby songs and heart breaking ‘I understand songs’. No, you will not go. The Musicals as if I wrote every word.
Keeping Keane, The Fray, James Taylor, the boy bands, the girl bands, John Legend, John Mayer and Justin Timberlake, the Lighthouse family and all the legends that contributed to my life. They must stay. The crying to songs must stay. The elated, life is all empowering songs are right up there too.
The Taylor songs (yes we love and not so much love).
And of course, my foreign lovelies. The crooner in Italian who takes me to places of extacy and foreign lands.
Truth is, every song on my playlist is part of me. The making of my moments, the returning to the past, the embracing of now, the possibility of what is to come. I cannot part with any of them. I love pop, R & B, country, movie themes and everything in between. Every song that catches my imagination, captures my heart and leaves its mark. Could I pick a favourite, no, is there the ‘one’ song, perhaps but I am not telling.
What I do know, is that music is the making of me. Everyday, no matter how good or bad, if I have the music in my ears, early morning, late evening at home, going somewhere, music is my theme song to life.
Oh did I mention …
Do you have any favourite playlists that capture you?
‘As long as you are beside me, I can ask for nothing more.’ Petula Clark.
You are all important. You are all staying. Find space somewhere else.
Images: Rolling stones, you tube.