“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” — Morrie Schwartz
I need to say this. Love still lives here. She has been a little abused, some self-inflicted, but gone, never. And it is a lesson I forgot to talk about – that despite the bumps and anguish, I never want to be anything, but in love.
Love is the best thing that can ever happen to you. The constant in the pathway of life. And we need to talk about it. You see, I had quite forgotten the subject – call it survival instinct, only today I met a wonderful young woman who, knowing my story, and hearing so many others, was quite dismayed at the high grey divorce rate, so many people she knew were ending decades of life together, it seemed a given, was this what was waiting, does love dissipate with time and age, the concern etched on her beautiful face, and I just thought Whoa! This has to stop. We have to stop. We are after all, the educators, the experienced, the guides into the future with our little footsteps deep in the grooves of those who came before us. And what did we learn?
Blinded by our own experiences, we missed the very message we were sending to those still dreaming of forever.
An understandable, but somewhat sad state of affairs. Which got me thinking. Yes, it has been painful, and let me just check if my heart is actually still there, but now, now that the time has passed and the smoothing of self is happening, I just had to tell her. Fabulous stuff.
I totally, wholeheartedly, unashamedly, am in love. In love with love. Been hurt, questioned it all, and now, if the showers come down, I really don’t mind getting wet because I refuse to be any place, but in love. It has just changed somewhat, taken on a different hue, altered the fixed lines and still, as it softens, it is still there.
As a child I loved without restriction. Love was safety and warmth in belonging.
As a young women, I believed love affairs would be straight out of Mills and Boon. Intoxicating, exhausting, passionate and profound.
As a mother, love became acute and almost paralysing, so intense the feeling for my children.
As life turned and hardened, grief, as they say, is just love with nowhere to go. It is still love.
Like a tapestry, the threads of love is in the whole, they bring the self together and if at times we feel the prick of loss, the blood letting of broken dreams, it is still the making of us. It makes no difference how we love, the many phases of love we experience, but that we love. And now, perhaps now, for the first time, the real sensation of self love is taking hold, and it is good.
When others leave, through choice, or death or circumstance, we doubt love, we rage and fight the furies that allowed it so, but what remains, is that we loved. And that makes us all worthy. So when I look back now, I still love them – they had to leave me, only I send them off with my heart, and thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so.
They are my chapters of love. They are part of my book. And now, when I think of them, it is, after all havoc has been poured over my soul, it is the love I remember. Took a very long time for get here, honestly, but no, lovely young lady, we do not all end up broken, but with learning. Wisdom is seldom bought cheaply.
Be romantic. Be never fearful that who and what you love, will not last. It will, perhaps in another form, but it does. You can learn from us, take notes, be more attentive.
Never stop loving with the fierceness in your heart. Never hold back, never be concerned that it may almost kill you, for it also the one thing that makes you feel most alive.
Passion, intoxication, forever dreaming of it, still.
Oh, romantic? Guilty as charged M’lord.