Fell in love with the word ‘truly’ as a young girl watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Heroine is Truly Scrumptious – All dressed in white, wearing bows in adulthood and her doll scene – eyes upwards on the screen at the local drive-in theatre was exactly where I wanted to stay. The other ‘truly’ word was the ending to a letter. Your’s truly – genuinely and without prejudice – sincerely yours. A sort of promise between your words and the reader and you meant them truly.
We hardly use the word anymore. But today, in June, she is back in my life. Only this time, I truly need her to be true to me. Moi madam, and why? Was sitting in this clever cafe in Cape Town. Yours truly (clever name) Clever people making clever use of space and just the upbeat vibe one needs to think ‘I can do this?’ ‘This is a nutritious, delicious moment.’
Getting to the loo meant going up two flights of precarious steps and the huffing and puffing on landing was embarrassing. Thank God for the retro, little left of the mirror mirror but right there, wanting to be hip and having stiff hips, right there it was time to be truly honest with myself. I have let myself go. All the angst and excuses, the wallowing and disbelief at This is my life gave way to lethargy, excess, procrastination and plain laziness. Those jeans are begging for a break from harassing the heft, and the boobs may be booby and someone else’s dream but they are not mine (damn who are you two?) I felt haggard – I looked fat-ti-gayed, seriously. She raised her hands and slapped them on the soft buttocks.
In truth, the truth was that I was becoming the stereo type of the grey divorce, missing my mom, the midlife embarrassment to my family and the sad, sad, sad one liner of ‘je suis triste’. I am boring. And truly not who I was, or want to be.
So … drumroll please
I am buying some running shoes. For starters.
When I get out of bed after three muesli rusks and a pot of tea. I am buying some running shoes.
Pourqois you say? I like the word truly, and offering a yours truly, is being able to be truly me.
Promise I will get up now … after I watch this.