Let me never complain of not having enough time again … or grumble about crowds, ever again. I have this friend that always used to tell me when I complained of one thing or another, would say: ‘be careful of what you wish for.’ One of my least favourite phrases – feel like something my teacher would say … and if I wished for more time, oh Lord, I didn’t mean this much! A little time, a little extra time, the sort of bank holiday weekend time. And now the hours on my own are endless …
The third day of the lockdown had me at Bridget Jones in the bath pulling at her false eyelashes in pure despair, but have since rallied to ‘fruitful exploration of all I did not get time to do, understand, finish and dreamed of but never really believed was possible.’ You are no doubt, doing the same. We have time now. From waking to sleep we have duvets of time, full, plump and enveloping every inch of you.
Have been rather busy. Doing very little. Doing little important things which would not be considered important if time was chasing me about. And time brought a mate – a slinky, slightly dodge character (looks a little like the child catcher) called ‘No Excuses.’ This character I do not like much, but can no longer avoid. Good thing, going to be tricky – this is the insensitive character that thrust the mirror directly onto the wine belly which I later found out, belonged to me – where the hell did that extra life ring come from? Looks like the one they find beside the super shallow pond in English parks, red and white and bit of an eyesore in the lovely landscape. That my dear, is the first ‘No Excuse’ objective. This is the absolute worst time to lob the wine and comforting crisps, really is, but now I have the time to begin some self care and shall not emerge until bootcamp is done. May sneak a glass or two, sorry Child Catcher No Excuse.
Would rather be walking through Hidcote Garden (picture provided) on a Spring day, just as the tulips are all about to unfold and the Serpentine hedge leads me to a view of Cotswold’s glory. And I can, as the National Trust, like so many brilliant places – Thinking Keukenhof, the National Gallery, the Louvre – there are many, are offering virtual tours to fill our hearts with awe and beauty. As I look out at my little garden, Icebergs battling the elements, I can but wonder and sigh … but online I’m watching virtual tours and it’s educational and just plain lovely.
Please look at the various virtual offers out there.
What I found time for today?
- Picking up those coffee table books and pursue – with tea and no biscuits.
- Re-reading my children’s story books I loved, almost more than them.
- Reflecting on what really matters to me now, at this point of my life and sayonara to the hanging onto for all the wrong, sentimental reasons.
- Thumbing through cookbooks. When will be have a family feast again?
- Watched ‘Who’s the Boss’ on Youtube and loving the 80’s Angela fashion. On a run with the ‘oldies catch up.’
- Pretended to re-design the house for not being able to do anything anyway. Who would come to help me paint?
- Go through files and toss … just toss for things I have held onto ‘in case.’
- Thin out material things to give to those who really need it when I haven’t for a while.
- Email/Itunes/spotify/photographs/documents clean out.
- Sorting through my mother’s many tins of collected tea spoons from ALL around the world.
- Enjoying the idea that my mother just HAD to collect a teaspoon from every destination all over the world.
- Loving all the calls and messages – to the point of actually being really busy chatting which makes me feel less alone.
This could go on for long time. I am conquering day by day – there is no point in being negative anymore (though still allowed the odd wobble). The world in crises has not lost her sense of humour and I continue to pray. As Prince Charles, himself with the #COVID19 curse, said in his interview today, gosh and I am happy he seems to be recovering, we do not know when the virus will end, but it will end. I am hanging onto that.
About the lots of time? Digging deep and keeping faith – all this time is a time for self discovery my friends, a time for really taking stock and like a new world will emerge, painfully I think, I mean to go through this time to be there with new ideas and new ways of thinking to support, become more engaged and just be so intensely grateful to be alive.
Sending you flowers and beauty at this time.
Here for you xxx