What to say, we are all living in hope and counting the days …

What to say?  Always believed if you have nothing to say … don’t.  Try and sit on that, and then just go … there must be something to say in this epic plague (third world war?) time when we are all in lockdown and the world has come to a total standstill. Surely, like Samuel Pepys I should be recording the ‘worst of times’ and keep a diary for future generations to go … wow… really?

My diary is totally empty.  Seriously, I still use a week by week dairy to write in and it is … totally empty. Could note that I, let’s see, ate, slept, did the laundry, scrubbed, washed, ironed and then just … got so interminably tired of my own company. This lockdown thing could be, yay, I am on my own and not have to spend it with stuck with another, or sadly, I am stuck with me. Not sure which is the better, but this is not going to be a negative, wanting to lynch the spouse sort of post – it’s going to be,  weeks in and … is there still a world out there and what is madam doing within the walls of confined space.

Positive, definitely positive – sort of “About a Boy’ units of the day positive. I do the units.  An hour of this and an hour of that.

Let me begin with that ‘I don’t do Facebook’ secret.  A new group called ‘From my window’ has me connecting with others who wish to post their views from their windows. Jealous at some of the most magnificent views, and blessed when I see some others, like the view from your apartment is the inner courtyard with no direct sunlight all day. A view from a hotel room, there are many of those – wonderful people working in essential services who cannot be with their families.

On the Estate I am in at the moment, we are not allowed to walk around, never run or take the dogs out for a walk.  We are limited to our own properties. No buying of alcohol or cigarettes. The wine is dwindling, as is my sense of humour, but no, we shall be postive. And thinner I surmise, sans the alcohol, though unsurprising, as is the times, I have been offered ‘alcohol’ via dubious means, if I need it.  Nothing like a restriction to boost the illegal trading of alcohol, but I must admit, meeting a dubious character in a car park close by, to pay a months wages for sneaking the wine into my boot is still something I am going to resist, for now. She sips from the last bottle.

At first, all fearful, law abiding citizens and now the sneaking has started:  dog waling in the dark, running at five in the morning past my window, for fear of being caught.  As one is allowed to go to the shops, and we have a shopping centre outside the gates, one gentlemen walks at seven every morning, with a shopping bag in an attempt to fool us he is on his way to buy groceries – when the shops only open at eight am. Will the lockdown make creative criminals of us all eventually?

No, being productive is the answer when one’s life is confined to a few square feet.  And yes, I found a puzzle. I have resorted to the ‘le puzzle’ – one of Lake Como, which I was to visit later this month, so alas, puzzle will have to do.  What else? The random squat en route to the kettle has transformed into the walk/jog routine in my garage. Hit the music, run in circles and boy am I one proud mama for doing it.  A step up she thinks.  Told you I found the missing weights whilst chasing a mouse (now identified as a shrew) and so they are on the kitchen counter to be held, lifted and released when the toast is ready. Very proud.

We all know that nature is playing the upper hand at the moment:  fishes in Venice, flocks of seagulls on the West Coast and numerous lion, elands and other species on golf courses and taking over villages – sweet.  Not so sweet when you wake up to face a praying mantis on your pillow – not after the shrew, ants and noo noos in drains that have come to visit. Love nature, stay out of my house.  It’s like camping I say again.

Weekly visit to the shops.  I have a mask that looks like Donald Duck but I wear it, and my winter gloves from London. It is summer, going into Autumn here, but I wear the orange gloves and care not a fig how I look.  Which brings me to how I look.  Never one for camping, I am now as close as I shall ever be – no salon for the hair, no waxing ( and yes I did try the razor and yes, I shall suffer as a result) – been without make-up until I went, oh dear, I cannot face you in the mirror and today did it all, to be beautiful with my puzzle. One must look good whilst doing the puzzle of Lake Como.

Units I say, is everything.  We wake at ungodly hours for lack of a proper busy day, drink tea at four in the morning and resort to ‘The Daily Mail’ for something to do.  Ok, it’s awful I know, but I do read the other news and am being a good girl on the content page.  Magical watching of streamed galleries, exhibitions, documentaries and the odd, smaltzh on Netflix. Somehow cannot watch anything gruesome for, for me, gruesome is right outside at the moment.

Out drunk on the peppermint tea, the green tea, the ordinary tea, the instant coffee (would I give my life for a proper take away coffee) and so over thinking about what next to eat. So over most of this actually but being positive, I am updating playlists, emails, photographs and over the memes and funny stuff which has paled to the reality of it all.

Waking up. Grateful that I can. Getting through the day. Planning. Oh, I am so going to travel more than ever before, even to Brighton if I must, but travel. To be on a tube, a train and a plane again. Tried the sewing, nah!  Tried the freezing of food – awful experience – tried the meditation – even worse. Talked to my plants, imagined a new career and spent a whole lot of time looking at my nails after eating them for lack of something else to do. Being positive people. Have avoided any challenges, like downing a raw egg and talking stock of my life, again.  Ugh what is this about too much time and contemplation, constantly think I need to re-value my life, all the time.

It has been good, I say. I am being quiet, appreciative and planning.  All has changed for sure. The world will never be as we know it and I plan to be part of the new one, what do you call it …

What to do tomorrow? The same as today, I guess. Another squat and three planks. That’s all for now.  Oh, and never admit that the puzzle is bloody hard. Never.

Don’t look at the dark side right now. Miss my boys on the balcony, my friends and family and oh, yes, have the Zoom thing down pat … with the make-up, because let’s face it, looking at oneself on Zoom is not a pretty sight, and we do keep looking at ourselves, don’t we? To the frontier, to the getting out of the hoodies and sweatpants and no make-up, we have got this!

Be safe, be ok and be planning for the great you to be…We will get through this and smile …

I am thinking of you all of you out there and love you for being yourselves at this time  … We Silver Streeters have each other …