Envigorated. The first of the week and the first of the month. Double delight. We are beginning to see the light.
Who would have thought that the first half of the year, 2020, would have brought such immense change, deep level five changes to our lives? Who would have thought? Life became about biding our time, locked down, hopeless to control, in the worst season of war some of us had ever experienced. And we suffered, we lost, we feared and we got to know a different kind of future – for some, still unknown – do we still have jobs out there, can we still go out there, how will it be, how will we cope?
Just like that, half the year swept under a veil of fear and uncertainty. Being our time, housebound, locked out, locked in. Brutal stuff .We learnt the possibilities of confinement, tried this ,did that, baked the banana bread. Some exercised, some began on line courses, some cried all the time, some rebelled – but the collective human nature, coped.
Where I am tonight, lockdown is still deep. But, and little by little, light shines through. Today we were allowed to buy wine, ‘hello wine!’ and able to walk around at all hours of the day. These little givings changed all around me, smiles came forth … and we still look to the skies to see the planes, for so many of us are waiting to board – me back to England and missing the Summer, but hopefully that this will happen soon. In the meantime, in lockdown, all sorts of acceptance happened. Being here, at first, was scary, so far from my family and what I know, but now a time, a retreat of sorts, to accept the quiet and kill the fear, the stuff, hone into the what matters and that is a good thing. As I said, the stages, which is now, the planning and doing time.
Would I have done this if life was as frantic as it had been? Doubt it. I have been forced to slow down in in that, to find the simple stuff, lost long ago. Cherish that. I have sorted photographs, memories, songs, little anxieties and the past. And now, with June, happy June, it’s the light to where we fly. To the light we look up too.
I have finally spent time in my other home. And made it more so. A family place to come to and love. Over the years we rented, had strangers stay, and now it’s finally become the place of peace. Am here now. It has also become the place of family to return to, have when things are good, and not so good, and done. When I leave, close the door, and I can, it will be here. Times we are given things we at first, resent. This was part of a settlement and I thought, I don’t want to live here, I live there and all that … the lockdown of being here has forged a new love affair. It is home.
Life gave me two destinations. Blessed I think. Not by choice, but now by choice.
For me, June has the beginning of true Summer,and the beginning of Winter. The vineyards are turning golden to red, to brown. In England, the roses are blooming.
It’s all about the light, wherever you are. The slow but steady lifting of darkness this year. Parks are opening, shops are opening, coffee is back on the menu. We can walk, and talk again of subjects other than Brexit and Covid. Thank you! We have downed the crafts and seeking nature. We can dance with optimism in anyway we choose. The into ourselves and re-inventing is going to bear fruit. New careers, dishing the old out with the plughole, force drive to the other ourselves.
Confetti June. Diaries are opening again. Plans are possible. I am excited.
We have found the small stuff, the little posies, the big bouquets of life. To the rivers, the beaches, the mountains and the stage of all that we can do. And I am not alone in this, in this possible reinvention, renewal and loveliness of it all.
June is a great month. Glorious June. You have come around and we are back on the stage of all we want.
We are going to be amazing – women, and men, who have had to re-define all we are. Begin again. Try again. And in that, the stage is open, the waiting in the wings is over … take centre stage in your life and live it with gay abandon. If this time has taught me anything, it’s that we have no time to just be spectators in our lives, but to be the number one headline in it.
Happy June, I embrace you – you are the bride of all that can happen.
Break the rules. Make your own. A month of all the loveliness possible.